The main message I want to leave in this world is that change is possible. Everything is possible. It is really hard to get out of the hole, but you really have to first stop digging. By staying the same, you are just digging further. You are making your unhelpful habits and reactions even stronger. And the problem is that you can’t just change unhelpful thoughts and beliefs in one day. It took you a lifetime to build them. So it will take some effort to change the unhelpful patterns. But it definitely won’t take you as long as it took you to build them
Currently, you are 100 % your unconscious habits and thought patterns you built during your lifetime. These habits and thought patterns got you where you are today. So if you don’t change anything, you will be getting more of the same in the future. Only if you learn something new, change your thoughts and change your beliefs, do different actions than usually, create better habits, you will experience different reality in the future. You can experience more of what you want.
The process as I see it goes like this:
- Today you are who you are – the habits and beliefs that made you who you are. If you want to change your life for the better, you have to break the current patterns and create new ones. Let’s say 70 % of your current thoughts and beliefs are not really serving your life and 30 % are empowering. These ratios got you where you are today. This is what you get with the current ratio
- You start becoming conscious. Let’s say you change 10 % of your beliefs and habits you want to change. That’s completely amazing! Now 60 % of your habits remain negative. This means you are still digging a hole, just a bit slowlier. But the trend is awesome!
- You start working on yourself even more and in a couple of months or years, you reach the 50 % mark. 50 % of your thoughts are positive, and 50 % of your thoughts and beliefs are old negative patterns of thinking. Today you stopped digging. And if you stop digging, you are almost sure to start going for the top, because you actually did the hardest part already. You stopped the trend! We all know the beginnings are hard. And you went past the biggest first hurdle. You are already feeling significant changes for the better starting to happen in your life as a result but it is still nothing compared to what will happen when the feedback loop starts kicking in.
The thing is that trends usually continue and reinforce themselves. If you think about something you tend to spiral and think about that even more. You start searching for confirmation of those thoughts, you believe them even more and think them even more. This is why stock markets and everywhere else where human psychology plays an important role, trends exist. because of inertion.
Because objects in motion tend to stay in motion. Loop reinforces itself. It’s the same with thoughts. If you have a thought “I am not good at math”, you will be searching for confirmation you are not good at math, and your actions will reflect this (I am not good at math so why bother studying, and then you actually fail your exam and your thoughts are confirmed. Do this for a couple of loops and it will be very very hard to break this belief).
So if you actually managed to come to 50:50, you stopped the free fall. Your unhelpful thoughts don’t spiral negatively out of control anymore. So in the next phase, the feedback loop can start working in your favour.
4. You do more work and come to a 60:40 ratio of empowering to unhelpful. And then continue to 70:30, 80:20, 90:10, 100:0. Now that positive and empowering thoughts and beliefs form the majority of your day-to-day, you are primed for exponential change for the better. And this change in your beliefs will start showing more and more in the change in your day-to-day actions, habits and beliefs you are holding. And different and better actions will lead to a better life. You finally start exercising, eating healthier, you finish the course, you read that book. This means more energy, more knowledge, clearer thinking, better ideas → everything that improves the quality of your life through the most important relationships in your life: the relationship with you (you love yourself more), your family, your work relationships etc.). You are in the green. The red still remains but it’s not the majority. Life is good and getting better every day.
This is the process of growth as how I see it currently.
Would love to hear what you think!
All the best!
Lan