Feelings First

If you are not making progress as fast as you would like to in the area of your life, frustration starts building up. Maybe the area is finances, romantic relationships, family, career, etc. You want that area to change, evolve, and become better. It’s just not going as you hoped despite the efforts.

Maybe after years of effort, you still think that it’s normal to have to push yourself to the max all the time. That it’s normal to sacrifice every day of your life for the pursuit of your goal.

But at a certain point, you have enough. At a certain point, you say to yourself “Is this what life has to offer? I am not happy, I am not fulfilled. There has to be more.”

This was my case. I focused on business and money so that I could finally start living the life I wanted someday in the future.

I thought to myself:

“When I get there, everything will be great.”

“When I achieve the financial success I desire, I will be happy and free.”

This was my mode of thinking. I was waiting for something to happen so that my life would change.

Yes, I did work for it every day, I wasn’t sitting on my hands. The problem was I was waiting for outside circumstances to change my internal way of being.

I got it backwards. What I was doing was like sitting in front of the fireplace saying:

“First start burning and then I will put the wood in.”

It just doesn’t make sense.

If you feel you are in a similar situation know that the feeling you are craving (confidence, appreciation, strength, significance or anything else you might seek) has to come before you can expect the events that will relieve your frustration in the physical can happen.

In my case this was:

“You first have to feel happy and free and abundant to achieve financial success”

and not

“You will achieve financial success and then you will feel happy and free.”

(Read it again if you don’t see the difference between the sentences).

For you, it might be a completely different area. Maybe it’s not about the finances, maybe it’s about the relationships in your family.

“First I will have the most amazing relationship with my husband and children and then I will be happy.”

This should be

“First I will be happy and then I can have the most amazing relationship with my husband and children.”

The second example shows the only direction where this could happen because a person full of limiting beliefs, judgments, and maybe even traumas cannot form such strong bonds with other people. There are too many blockages everywhere for you to fully accept yourself and your fellow human beings.

You have to work on yourself, your internal state, your beliefs, thoughts and feelings to really achieve your version of success. For some, success is a happy family, for others it’s the feeling of freedom when travelling the world, for others it’s helping a fellow human being and for some, it’s making an impact on millions with your own business or a non-profit. We each get to choose our contribution.

We just have to heal and grow ourselves first so that we are not blinded on the journey and start climbing the ladder only to discover that it’s leaned on the wrong wall.

First, start loving to be loved. Start appreciating to be appreciated. This is how it works.

Achieving and doing unfortunately won’t get you the feeling you want. If you want to feel successful you first have to appreciate everything you have already done and achieved deep down. Because otherwise whatever you achieve it will be exactly the same as it was with all your past victories. You will disregard it and find a new target to obsess over. Your feelings won’t change.

But if you start expressing gratitude and pride for what you have done already if you call on the feelings of victory and success for who you already are and what you have done, everything you have and you already feel successful, then the world is your playground. Nothing can’t stop you because you are not building from lack but from abundance. You are growing from purpose because you are already whole and complete. Nothing can’t stop you and there won’t be any doubts or frustration. Everything will be very clear to you, you know what you are doing and why. You can afford to wait and just spend time enjoying the journey and not just agonizing about when you will achieve your goal.

This is the journey towards what you actually want. Because you may discover that when you feel the feeling you were so desperately searching for through outside validation, you actually desire something completely else than what you thought.

You now already have the feeling you wanted and can tap into your higher self and ask what you want to contribute to the world. What do you actually want to see and work on in this lifetime? Maybe it’s raising a family, maybe it’s building rockets or going to the moon. Doesn’t matter what you chose, you are doing it as a complete human being and you can do it with all your heart. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Especially not to your own thoughts that try to steer you back to childhood ways of being when it was all about survival.

This is a big part of where we human beings get stuck in our lives. It took me years of frustration and dealing with physical symptoms to discover this and let go.

I am still on my own journey like you are on your own.

If you want to walk this path and would like some help and guidance book your free coaching call at this link: https://www.lanvuga.com/free-coaching-session/

Take the time from your everyday life to work on “you”. Take the time for your own happiness and get what you want out of life.

I am looking forward to meeting you.


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